Letters from/to Peter

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Letters from/to Peter

PostPosted by Pyriel » Sat Oct 31, 2009 10:32 am

Loretta…

If you are reading this letter it means I have left. I am sorry I didn’t get to see you before- I realize you deserve an explanation for this…
First of all, if I have left it means I have means to make sure that I will *not* be treated like a labrat this time; That my project has been cancelled and they will just see if there’s anything wrong with me and then leave me alone. You know how I don’t like being tested like this, I wouldn’t go to them if I didn’t have ways to be sure. So you don’t need to worry about that…

Secondly, I would like to make it clear in case there is a misunderstanding; Me leaving has *nothing* to do with the fact that our thing did not work out. Like I said, it was a dream for me- I just hoped it would be the same for you… Still, our current friendship would be a reason for me to stay, not to leave. You are *still* the best thing that happened to me. Never , ever doubt that.

Last but maybe most important: Mark my words. I will come back. I really honestly will come back, better than ever . No matter what happens. I’ll keep in touch, though Trent will give more details on that… I’ll even send your phone a picture of me right before I get inside the HQ… I hope you will not forget me … I know *I* won’t forget you.

‘till the absolutely certain fact of us meeting again… I’ll miss you.

Peter
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Re: Letters from/to Peter

PostPosted by hippie_mama » Fri Apr 09, 2010 6:34 pm

Loretta,

I am writing to you to express my sincere apology for the way i acted. regardless of us not fitting,which is agreed and all, i did something bad. i let my ego overwhelm me. See, i had seen you at the beach after the combat; looking at Samuel in a way i thought you'd *never* look at me, admiring him in a way i thought you'd *never* admire me. And i just let my ego overcome me-i wanted self-comfirmation that bad.

and this was so selfish of me, leading to potentialy hurting you more i am afraid; i had expectations allright, and thats why we would not work out, but i also let my ego place all these rules. I feel it now-after we confessed what we feel. True love asks for no terms-nothing but its acceptance. what we have is real- and i trusted selfishness instead of it. Hence, i dont deserve your love.

You shouldnt see me after the wedding, i'll be making preparations somewhere. I am leaving, the day after the wedding.probably will go mountaineering or something.


You should know it is not a decision i took easily; a part of me still hopes someday we will be ready for each other. But the other part of me knows the truth-the only way to make it work would be a mutual compromise, which i am not sure can happen. maybe someday i wont be that selfish and insecure , due to understanding what you feel,and have less expectations, but what will remain the same is, i will desire some sort of commitment-the very thing which i dont think you'd give. By commitment i don't mean super-serious marriage stuff; just the admitting that i'll be kinda hurt when i see you with other guys like *you* were hurt when you saw me with Kate. Nothing more than that. still, i'm not sure you'd want to give that?

I shall be gone for some days... this way you will not be forced to see me. hence, especialy if Trent and Allison go honeymoon, you can explore your possible feelings for Erik, Samuel, anyone, or none at all, i dont know. But you will be free of my influence, and maybe when i get back, you will not love me anymore, and you will be happy again.I only ask the friendly favour of running the dojo while i'm gone, so it is not closed when i return; just a friendly favor, and i will forgive you if you refuse it.

Forgive me. it just seems that helping you go on with your life is the only thing i can give you now, and i cannot bear to see you suffer more. Myself i'll be fine-i'll have failed at many things, but i will be able to say to myself that the girl of my dreams once loved me, and i have decided that this is more than enough for me to go on.

Love, Peter.
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