Attendance (Don't be a Prick)

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Attendance (Don't be a Prick)

PostPosted by hippie_mama » Wed Feb 11, 2009 11:27 pm

Note: this is mostly meant to be humorous. Mostly.

Attendance is becoming an issue in all of the games here lately. Understandably, issues do arise that take priority over gaming. However, there are many things that can and should be avoided during a scheduled game. All of us have important things to do, and gaming is just a hobby, but it is a hobby shared among a group of people. Please don't cause a game that others are looking forward to to be canceled because you did not think enough of your gaming group to make an effort to deal with avoidable conflicts.

What follows is a color-coded list. It details situations in which a game should be missed, as well as situations you should just deal with at another time. I made this list because i feel there are several people who need help determining which category their weekly conflicts belong to.

Key:
Red: Sweet Entitlement, you have good reason to miss the game, Don't feel bad, ever.
Yellow: Gray area. Quickly assess your priorities; consult a spiritual adviser to continue (usually accompanied by asterisk)
Green: Deal with it and Game, asshole. Your problems aren't ours, and with some planning won't be yours either.
*: Not your fault/you shouldn't feel bad, but consider that your absences effect the whole group (you should probably step out of the game)


natural disaster/loss of power
ill dependents that require care
debilitating injury or illness (can't sit upright and type without bleeding, etc)
migraines (brain pain bad)


changes in work schedule*
illness (the non-life threatening kind)
unexpected requests from relatives


date nights with the wife
picking up groceries
phone calls to the girlfriend
sleepy (if the night shift guy can make it work, you can too)


Please feel free to add items or debate.
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Re: Attendance (Don't be a Prick)

PostPosted by Mierin » Wed Feb 11, 2009 11:34 pm

I do agree with all of this.

One question I do have is about migraines. I get them occasionally. Most of the time, I have no idea on any given day that it's coming. Would this count in the red category? (especially during the times when I am in so much pain the only thing that helps is being unconscious? Or Yellow?

ETA: Of course, sometimes I'm the stubborn woman who insists she is just FINE and plays anyway. :s_laughat
Last edited by Mierin on Wed Feb 11, 2009 11:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Attendance (Don't be a Prick)

PostPosted by Chick » Wed Feb 11, 2009 11:37 pm

I saw don't be a prick, and I just had to come and be a prick

In all seriousness, some people would categorise in your lovely colour scheme quite differently than you have. We're not all of the same mold. I recently didn't show for a RL game session because I had to do something others may or may not have thought a priority, but I sure as hell did. And last night had to leave halfway through a game session while I was still able to drive home and not sleep at the wheel... and I don't work. Some people make excuses, doesn't matter what it is. Some people have reasons, important enough for them to pull out... regardless of whether other people agree or not.

If someone's totally unreliable on the other hand, it's obvious.
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Re: Attendance (Don't be a Prick)

PostPosted by hippie_mama » Wed Feb 11, 2009 11:40 pm

Mier: i would classify most migraines as Red.

Chick: like is said, all of these things would be important to the person in question. I'm outlining the severity of them as compared to the group's desire to function. Also this is PbC; obviously in-person there are extra considerations such as driving home safely afterwards.
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Re: Attendance (Don't be a Prick)

PostPosted by Aluman » Wed Feb 11, 2009 11:42 pm

I have gamed under debilitating injury/illness before. (As in when it was close to my surgery times I would still game as long as I could without fainting).

Add on there: Dinner (should be green).

Migraines: Generally Red imo.
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Re: Attendance (Don't be a Prick)

PostPosted by Chick » Wed Feb 11, 2009 11:43 pm

My point was, what you prioritise as important, may be little to another, whilst what you classify as not important, another may find quite important

*And it's obvious when someone's making excuses... if they care enough to give notice
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Re: Attendance (Don't be a Prick)

PostPosted by hippie_mama » Wed Feb 11, 2009 11:46 pm

You're missing my point. All of the green things can be rescheduled. Red are unavoidable. Yellow is open to interpretation. What are you taking issue with?
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Re: Attendance (Don't be a Prick)

PostPosted by Chick » Wed Feb 11, 2009 11:53 pm

You're being too black and white, for example, a date night with the wife may very well be an important, even deadly thing to reschedule in some circumstances. What's important to one may not be to another. I could flip your list all over the place, depending on the day. Death in the family; "Oh, I have a few hours to spare at the moment, I'll play".

There was the other incident of when I didn't show for a game recently I didn't say why. Why? Because according to your list I'd be slammed for it. It's unreasonable to be writing lists in stone like that. Circumstances and personalities differ greatly, obviously, along with reasoning. Ours have clashed before, so I should hardly need explain that point further. Yet we've met on common ground at times, such as when that shite of a GM we had used to not show with no notice, and stop games prematurely with lame excuses because of hissy fits. It's easy to know when someone's making excuses... that's the only rule I'd bother going by. You can have your list though, I won't take it from you
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Re: Attendance (Don't be a Prick)

PostPosted by hippie_mama » Thu Feb 12, 2009 12:15 am

My list was made to prove a point. I do realize it's very general. It was supposed to be. I would like people to start thinking about how their decisions are effecting others. That's all. I really don't see any reason for you to go off on me for that.
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Re: Attendance (Don't be a Prick)

PostPosted by Chick » Thu Feb 12, 2009 12:25 am

I'm not going off on you, just making a point of my own. A counter-point. I realise your intention, just offering a broader view
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Re: Attendance (Don't be a Prick)

PostPosted by verdilak » Thu Feb 12, 2009 12:41 am

A date with the wife would be yellow... but choosing game night to see a movie with your wife or GF or significant other every week... then instead of playing for an hour and leaving, maybe you shouldnt play on a night you would rather do something else. Some of us don't have better things to do, or can't, or think the gaming IS the better thing to do.

Just gotta remember that gaming isn't all about YOUR fun, it's about EVERYONE'S fun. Hence why, if I'm in a sour mood due to whatever, I would rather not run a game because I don't want to ruin it for them. on the other hand, I realize that my players WANT to play, so when that sort of situation arises, I'll set the game that night as just a RP session, and ask for minimal GM intervention.
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Re: Attendance (Don't be a Prick)

PostPosted by Starmage21 » Thu Feb 12, 2009 9:08 am

Chick wrote:You're being too black and white, for example, a date night with the wife may very well be an important, even deadly thing to reschedule in some circumstances. What's important to one may not be to another. I could flip your list all over the place, depending on the day. Death in the family; "Oh, I have a few hours to spare at the moment, I'll play".

There was the other incident of when I didn't show for a game recently I didn't say why. Why? Because according to your list I'd be slammed for it. It's unreasonable to be writing lists in stone like that. Circumstances and personalities differ greatly, obviously, along with reasoning. Ours have clashed before, so I should hardly need explain that point further. Yet we've met on common ground at times, such as when that shite of a GM we had used to not show with no notice, and stop games prematurely with lame excuses because of hissy fits. It's easy to know when someone's making excuses... that's the only rule I'd bother going by. You can have your list though, I won't take it from you


((this isnt directed at YOU chick, just at the reader))

You also have to consider that when you decide to join a gaming group that you sign a "social contract", and that means that there are certain expectations that you must meet for your group, and your group needs to meet with you. The most important of those is usually attendance. A GM usually spends a great deal of time thinking and planning various contingencies and story elements that will involve you as a player, and interactions based on the presence of your character. When youre not there, you fuck that up for everyone at the gaming table. Basically, if you would not blow off one of your close friends on a scheduled night, you should not do the same for your gaming group. When you do, youre causing more grief than most people consider.

To use an analogy: What happens when the football team steps out onto the field ready to play and the quarterback doesnt show up because he had to take his wife to dinner?

((Honestly, my fiance knows that I place a lot of stock into these games that I play, and she knows my schedule. I've told her more than once that we have to cut things short, or not go because I have something planned.))
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